It’s funny how the moment I stop moving, rushing, circling thoughts finally flow into my mind. Like the sea breeze, these ideas are fleeting and sometimes cloudy, and they only exist when you sit still long enough to notice and feel their presence. There are some moments where, if you’re lucky and you close your eyes and quiet your mind, the feeling of the wind on your eyelids and lips becomes easier to articulate and naming the idea becomes easier. The winds slow and you catch the meaning of the breeze before its momentum is lost and there is complete stillness.
Sometimes I feel as though I exist on two separate planes. There is the physical world that exists around me, the one that I participate in by going to events, cleaning, interacting with others, and living as I am expected to. And then there is the world that is reflective, creative, and hidden, which is bursting out of me. At times this world takes over and I retreat out of the world of daily activities and immediate needs. Recently, my creative world has remained hidden and buried. It has been overtaken by the physical world, the places and people around me.
It is my process of floating in between the world of being a writer or being a human, being an observer or being a participant. I don’t know how to be both and I don’t know which I am made to be.